Saturday, January 16, 2016

Let's Play Values-Ball!

When Candidate Cruz accused Candidate Trump of having "New York values," Trump wrapped himself in the sacrosanct cloak of 9/11, triumphantly telling us, "I was there."


To be frank, we were not aware Candidate Trump had been a First Responder - and if so, we hope he gets his lungs checked regularly - but the Pundits seemed to love his response.


Even those Republicans who are native New Yorkers - I was born in Brooklyn (Yay, me!) - think we understand what Candidate Cruz was saying and that it had nothing to do with our essential patriotism.


To many Red Staters - and quite a few Blue Staters, too - New York is thought of as: the home of Wall Street (which we don't like); the  home base of the Mainstream Media (which we really don't like); and the province of rude cab drivers (whose concept we don't like, even if we haven't encountered any).


New York is also thought of as the stomping ground of  Limousine Liberals who have gazillion-dollar Manhattan penthouses; gazillion-dollar mansions in Westchester; and rent other gazillion-dollar homes in the Hamptons for $100,000 per week, or what many Americans live on for 5 or 6 years. (Oh, wait! That's only Hillary Clinton.)

Nevertheless, since his New York values statement has been so controversial, we strongly advise Candidate Cruz to link any future values statements to locales which have far fewer defenders.

He can talk about Uruguayan values: Soccer players who bite other soccer players on the shoulder . . . . .


Papua New Guinean values: Nobody cares for headhunters . . . . .

Liechtensteiner values: Because it sounds funny . . . . .



Or Tuvaluan values: Since there are only 7 Tuvaluan-Americans all told, and they all live in New York, anyway.




(A curious side note:  In one of the weirdest Fox News segments ever recorded, newscaster Geraldo Rivera maintained that attacking "New York values" meant one was being anti-Puerto-Rican, anti-Semitic, or anti-newsmen of half Puerto Rican/half-Jewish ancestry. Of which there are approximately one.)



















 

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Legally Born 3 - Red, White, and Trump

Reese Witherspoon hasn't signed on for this installment, but Heidi Cruz looks a little bit like her . . . . .




As almost all Americans understand, the concept of "natural-born" U.S. citizenship has been a part of our political and legal landscape since our country's founding, because:


It protects babies born to those in the diplomatic corps, as well as other Americans attached to embassies and consulates:



It protects babies born to military personnel and government contractors stationed abroad:



It protects babies born to corporate personnel and other business people working abroad:



It protects babies born to professors, teachers, and researchers on assignment abroad:



It protects babies born to missionaries and religious personnel abroad, including people on pilgrimages:

 
And it even protects babies born - sometimes early and unexpectedly - to travelers and tourists on planes, trains, and cruise ships, or those taking family vacations:


 

***** A (somewhat whimsical) side note:  Candidate Trump was himself born in Woodhaven, Queens County, New York.

Demographers tell us that Queens County is the most ethnically diverse county in the entire United States, with many hundreds of different ethnic groups represented. In fact, as of the latest data, almost 60 percent of residents in Queens spoke something other than English as their first - their "birth" - language.

Clearly, this sounds very iffy. Should Queens be declared a foreign country, calling into question Mr. Trump's "natural-born" status?