Hillary Barks

But Can She Fetch and Play Frisbee?

As you may have heard, Hillary Clinton gave into her Animal Instincts at a campaign rally in Reno, barking like a dog, in the course of relating a folksy anecdote about an ad which aired in rural Arkansas.

Our first reaction: Candidate Clinton and a "folksy" anecdote? or "rural" anything? It seems a stretch, but perhaps we are underestimating her. Next, an appearance at the Grand Ole Opry?

Or possibly, a stab at Bowhunting? Bullriding? Hanging out with somebody other than hedge fund managers?

Our second thought: Since we've all heard Secretary C's unfortunate laugh, how would journalists and other observers describe the Great Bark?

Well, some said it sounded like a border collie. Others like a miniature poodle. Or an anxious chihuahua.

Somebody, probably a Republican, mentioned a dingo. And someone else, clearly a Sanders supporter, unkindly used the word hyena.

In any case, not to be outdone, there are rumors that other Presidential hopefuls have hired voice coaches and are diligently practicing their menagerie sounds.

Bernie Sanders, being slight, is thinking of adding a brawny Gorilla to his repertory. Chided for his mildness, John Kasich is considering a Lion. And Rubio and Cruz are said to be playing Rock/Paper/Scissors for the right to expropriate the defiant screech of a Hawk.

Donald Trump? "We're not sure yet," said a source close to the sound-bite-loving candidate. "But we can say it definitely will not be a Rhino."