Stung by criticism about its cartoon of candidate Ted Cruz's little daughters, the venerable D.C. newspaper decides to hold an (imaginary) holiday party for the young children and grandchildren of all presidential candidates, Republicans and Democrats alike.
Hi, Bernie! Nice to see you.
You, too, Mike. Quite a shindig the Post is throwing.
Yes, they've very thoughtfully provided all the kids' favorite treats. Cupcakes. Key lime pie. Alfalfa. Fresh-killed antelope. . . . Are those your adorable little lemurs over there?
Right. Those are mine. And yours are those precious little otters?
Yes, my grandbaby otters. Ooh! Look at those darling children playing "Ring Around the Siberian Tiger." Prairie dogs, koalas, kinkajous, fur seals . . .
I think those belong to Carson, Bush, Fiorina, and Rubio. But I'm not sure which is which.
Well, they're all as cute as cute can be. And oh, my! I think that is the most fetching little chupacabra I've ever set my eyes on.
Yes, she is sweet. Obviously, Hillary's.
Dearest Fellow Humorists: If you're going to utilize satire which includes small children, make sure that you're an equal opportunity offender.
Ah! Young Geopoliticians In Love!
(OK, they're middle-aged. But we're sticking with the popular culture convention.)
Vlad on Don: "He is an outstanding personality" and "he's a bright and talented person."
Don on Vlad: "I'd get along very well with Vladimir" and "it is . . . a great honor to be . . . complimented by a man so highly respected within his own country and beyond."
A Fine Bromance, My Friends, This Is
We'll Ski, We'll Hunt, But No Kisses
Our Critics Carp, But They Haven't Got a Chance
Vlad, Would You Like to Dance?
This Is a Fine Bromance
(Perhaps a younger Republican could do a Rap version.)
War and Greenpeace
President Obama told global leaders at the opening of the COP21 conference in Paris that embracing climate change policy is equivalent to fighting terror and a "clear rejection" of what worldwide terrorists seek to do.
"Run and hide, Ahmed! It's an avalanche of clean water laws."
Obama called the climate summit with world leaders in France "a powerful rebuke" to Islamic State terrorists who attacked Paris in November.
"Scud missiles, we're used to. Drones, we can take. But No! No! No! We just can't hold out against those smokestack scrubbers."
"What a powerful rebuke to the terrorists it will be," said the President, "when the world stands as one and shows that we will not be deterred from building a better future for our children" via climate change rules.
"That's it, Yasmine! Three battalions of self-driving cars boxing us into the wadi."
**** If only they'd been taught to recycle, they might not have turned into Baddies at all.
So much of the U.S.-Canadian border region is beautiful in the extreme. But so are poison dart frogs, black widow spiders, and cobras.
