Unless we actually attended last week's Palm Beach summit meeting between Presidents Trump and Xi Jinping of China - or unless we are Susan Rice? - we can't be sure yet what contentious issues might have been discussed.
Manmade South China Sea islands, currency manipulation, and sociopathic North Korean dictators are among the possibilities.
What's clear is that despite little Arabella and Joseph Kushner, aged 5 and 3, serenading President Xi with a Mandarin song, there is no Xi Mania sweeping the United States as yet.
Trump Mania, however - of the retail-oriented kind - has been building in the Orient for months. And it's time Americans should know about it.
Almost everyone in the United States likes Oriental food, and many of us are similarly enamored of Asian culture - from music, dance, and film to apparel, furniture, decor, and architecture.
We are perhaps less familiar, though, with Asian Astrology and the traditional Lunar Calendar. So we may not know that a few weeks ago, at Lunar New Year, much of Asia acknowledged that the World has entered the Year of the Rooster, one of twelve years in the Lunar sequence.
Astrologers say Rooster Years are apt to be times of important events, new beginnings and good fortune - based not on explosive conflict, but rather on determined effort, hard work, energy, and stamina.
Lunar Zodiac years are further divided based on the prevailing traditional Five Elements of Earth, Metal, Water, Wood, and Fire. This Lunar Year is a Fire Year, making it the Year of the Fire Rooster, which only occurs every 60 years.
Fire, say astrologists, brings a tone of added vigor, temperament, and drama to the table - a certain intensity that is Larger-than-Life.
How fitting, then, that throughout Asia, especially in China, the Face of the Year of the Fire Rooster has become . . . . . Donald Trump?
Well, Yes, it is a bit strange and certainly more than a bit unexpected. President Trump is not of Oriental descent, and his own Lunar Zodiac symbol is the Dog - more precisely the Fire Dog.
That doesn't mean Dalmatians, but rather people who, according to the Asian Zodiac, are apt to be sympathetic, considerate, gentle, cautious and . . . .
OK, that sounds not at all like President Trump. So by all means, cast him as an Honorary Fire Rooster instead!
The Man of the Year of the Fire Rooster business began in earnest this past December, when the North America N-1 Art Shopping Center, an upscale Chinese mall featuring several international stores and restaurants, unveiled a . . . . . well, a positively adorable fiberglass Rooster Statue, 23 feet tall. The mall is located in the midsize city of Taiyuan (population 3.5 million), the provincial capital of Shanxi Province, just southwest of Beijing.
The talented artist who designed the sculpture is an American, Casey Latiolais of Seattle, who says he did not set out to mimic the looks of the new President. Right away, however, Chinese viewers noted the resemblance - that Hair! that Stance! - and suddenly the Art Mall became a tourist attraction.
Replicas followed. Anyone can now buy an even bigger Trump Rooster - an inflatable 32-foot version sold on-line - for $1725. And smaller versions now abound throughout Asian stores and websites.
Remember how Europeans went crazy for that cuddly German polar bear cub a few years back? In this Lunar Year of the Fire Rooster, Hail-to-the-Bird dolls and assorted paraphernalia are leaping from their nests and flying off the shelves. Among the items we've seen on-line are T-shirts and sweatshirts, coffee mugs, and (Fire) mousepads.
But the Hail-to-the-Rooster craze has not yet reached the Western world in earnest. And as a loyal Republican, I think it should!
Talk about marketers' favorite word: Branding. This is an opportunity for political branding of the first order, an opportunity that astrologically only comes around every 60 years - and who knows who will be President in 2077? (Possibly a Clone-of-a-Bot or a Bot-of-a-Clone.)
So I propose we GOP'ers come up with an Official President Trump Fire Rooster Logo. I'm introducing one possible concept here:
Isn't it sweet?
In the next picture-blog in the PFUN series, I'm going to create a widely usable Greeting Card featuring this possible Logo and extending it to members of the President's new Cabinet.
Any Republican who wishes to do so may copy and send it to friends, family, colleagues, Hollywood crazies, and foreign leaders, crazy or not.
Whichever Hail-to-the-Rooster Logo we choose, I urge fellow GOP entrepreneurs to begin to utilize it widely and creatively. A few ideas, thrown out at random:
***** Buffalo Fire Rooster Wings, with containers stamped with the Hail-to-the-Bird Logo. Every restaurant, bar, food truck, and stadium concession owned by a proud Republican might want to glom onto this.
***** Rooster Salsa, Fire-Roosted Peanuts, Fire Rooster Chow Mein: If it's tasty and hot, Oriental or not, slap on a Republican Rooster Logo.
***** Bird Bags, Socks, Sandals, Slip-ons: There was news this past week that one of the world's largest shoe store chains has fallen on hard times and is undergoing reorganization. Lure back customers and bring in new ones with footwear and accessories sporting our Logo.
***** Birds at the Beach: Summer's fast approaching, and the GOP Rooster is perfect, we think, for Beach Towels, Pails and Shovels, Surfboards, and Sails.
***** Roosters on Course: Since the Trump name is already linked with the links, a line of Fire Rooster Golf Accessories seems like a hole-in-one.
***** The Rooster Register: All those June brides and grooms who bleed GOP might urge wedding guests to gift them with Hail-to-the-Firebird dish sets, toasters, comforters, and area rugs.
Are we all getting into the swing of this? Gosh, this branding stuff is fun!
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