Our Founding Fathers and Mothers could not have anticipated Madonna, Michael Moore, and the other Hollywood Visibles shooting their (potty) mouths off after their candidate lost the election.
But the Reb Celebs should be happy they reside in a country where Freedom of Speech is a core value and principle. In many other parts of the world, their recent bombast would be considered Treason. And instead of champagne, caviar, and pussycat hats, their lot might be trials, prisons, and, in some countries, firing squads.
1. Madonna (Who seems to have been married to Guy Fawkes, not Guy Ritchie): “I’m angry . . . . . I’m outraged . . . . . I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House.”
3. Tom Arnold (Who clearly has his metal detectors at the ready): In a series of carefully-worded Tweets - at least he knows he's skirting the law - Arnold challenged "gamers" to break into databases and "dig up dirt" on President Trump.
4. Meryl Streep (No wonder she's so good at voices - she hears them): At her Golden Globes speech, Streep implied that Trump's first order of business would be to rid Hollywood of "foreigners," particularly Canadians. (No, we couldn't possibly make this up.)
She went on to say that if the new President "kicked out" all these Canadians, we'd have "nothing to watch but Football and Mixed Martial Arts, which are not the Arts.”
5. Robert De Niro (Casting the first boulder): Tough-guy actor De Niro thought Streep's Golden Globes speech was "great" and "needed to be said."
"I share (Streep's) sentiments about (GOP) punks and bullies," proclaimed the former Raging Bull and Godfather portrayer keeping a straight face, just a few weeks after he said he would "like to punch (Donald Trump) in the face."
6. Barbra Streisand (Logician extraordinaire): The chanteuse-turned-pundit called the President "dangerous and unfit for office."
In a breathtaking demonstration of (il)logic, she opined that Trump ran for office in the first place "to get even with President Obama who once made jokes about him at a White House Correspondents’ Dinner." She further remarked that the President "want(s) to get rid of Obamacare just because of the name."
7. Gloria Steinem (Exemplar of mental health): Steinem said that "some very experienced doctors" had warned the new President showed "symptoms of mental instability." (As opposed to Hillary Clinton barking like a dog? John Podesta communing with space aliens? Or Sally Boynton Brown saying her task as DNC Chair would be to "shut White people down?")
Steinem said women feel "sexually assaulted" by Trump, and implied that both he and his new administration were already - in just a few days? - imposing on American women's "bodily integrity."
8. Tom Ford (The anti-Steinem?) Unlike Steinem, fellow anti-Trump activist and fashion maven Ford seems to want American men's "bodily integrity" to be breached more often.
The designer and cosmetics entrepreneur told GQ Magazine that "men should experience being penetrated at least once in their lives." He said "it would help (men) understand women. It’s such a vulnerable position to be in, and it’s such a passive position to be in." To which most women - especially Steinem - would probably roll their eyes.
In other Ford news, the fashionista loudly proclaimed he would never "dress Melania Trump" - who, as far as we know, is perfectly capable of dressing herself. In a (rather strange) response, hotel man Steve Wynn, a friend of the new First Lady, has banned Ford clothes, cosmetics, and - Oh, No! - sunglasses from his hotels.
9. Charlie Sheen (In-between visits to rehab): The comic actor and veteran of the drug wars is already - one week into the Trump administration - talking up a "Trump impeachment," on the grounds of . . . . Well, he didn't say, but he has called Trump supporters "trolling douchebags," a political term we hadn't heard before.
And if Olbermann's already on the case, can Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, or Miley Cyrus be far behind?
10. Michael Moore (Slightly Larger Napoleon): Yes, the Emperor of the Alt-Left has been saying silly things about President Trump - and Republicans in general - for what now seems like several centuries. But he's been getting worse and worse, claiming that non-Caucasians who voted for Trump were brainwashed-into-racism, women who voted Republican were brainwashed-into-sexism, and that there is "no way" the new President can last four years in office - which, if not a Treasonous remark, is pretty darn close.
Now, Moore is calling for "100 Days of Resistance to the Trump Regime," up to and including "occupying Washington, D.C."
The last time that happened, we believe, was during the War of 1812.
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