Mommy, Mommy! Jimmy Bullied Me!

Following in the Democrats' long tradition of Victimization as the preferred path to political empathy, Hillary Clinton claimed in a conference call to donors Saturday that she should have, could have, and would have won last week's Presidential election if not for the bullying of F.B.I. director James Comey - the beast!

Never mind that Comey was praised as a hero by many Clintonistas a few days before the election, when he decided his agency did not, after all, have enough ammunition in Clinton's possible-treason-by-E-mail case to warrant an immediate indictment.


In the aftermath of her stunning defeat, Clinton's trying out the role of the poor little schoolgirl terrorized by the schoolyard Bully. "Mommy, Mommy, Jimmy stuck my pigtail in the inkwell and made me cry."

We fear this is just the beginning.  In the coming weeks, Hillary and the Clintonistas may come up with many other beasts, villains, devils, and bullies to blame for their "unfair" loss:


***** Vladimir Putin: "He has a Bromance going with Donald Trump and did everything he could to hurt me. Russian hacking discredited Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and made Bernie Sanders supporters vote Libertarian, Green, or possibly Satanist. Putin also made trouble in Syria just to spite me."

***** Julian Assange: "His operatives are everywhere! And their Mission - if they choose to accept it - is leaking every tidbit of information that could be misinterpreted."

***** Nigel Farage: "He's obsessed with that Brexit business and maintains my friendships with financiers prove I'm the Darling of the Globalists. Untrue! I only talk to my BFF George Soros 4 or 5 times a day."

***** Marine Le Pen: "One little speech in Brazil about Open Borders, and the entire European Right makes me into a demon."

***** Kim Jong-Un: "You think the little so-and-so would have authorized those new nuclear tests if Bernie Sanders were running?"

***** Xi Jinping: "I have no doubt whatsoever he's been waging a Currency War to embarrass Democrats."

***** The Zika Virus: "It caused havoc in Florida, squelching our efforts to register illegal immigrants, felons, drug dealers, and Alzheimer's patients - all of whom, of course, reliably vote Democratic."

***** Hurricane Matthew: "Ditto, except it was the entire Southeast."


***** Scott Baio: "And all those other Adorable Deplorable Celebrities who dared to break ranks with their Hollywood - or Dollywood - brethren. Celebrities are supposed to be Democrats. We made it part of our Platform."

***** The late Justice Antonin Scalia: "How could one man make so much trouble for Hillary Clinton from beyond the grave?"

***** The entire State of Michigan: "Plus all those other back-stabbing States who always vote for Democrats. How dare they thwart an Anointed One's election?"

***** Cruella DeVil: "Because she doesn't like puppies, clearly proving she was a Trump supporter. Is there anyone else we've left out?"

 
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